I cannot tell you how many times I have felt in transition between two worlds. These are often the most challenging times and places to be. In my experience it can bring up our inner worlds insecurities, longings, and laziness. That place of transition is also referred to as a " suspension period", but doesn't a" transition between two worlds" just sound way more fun? Transition also implies movement to me, where suspension feels, to me anyway, like your stagnate or just hanging out.
Which brings me to the words we use to describe our experiences and how important they are. Just say with me right now "I am in transition" and then say "I am in suspension". I am not here to tell you which one you should use. I am here to shed light on the way saying those two different words that have similar meanings can make you feel. So how did one make you feel vs the other? Again, no right or wrong, what works for me might not work for you and that's okay:). Let's try another one, say aloud with me " I feel anxious about (fill in the blank)" and then say "I feel excited about (same fill in the blank)". What did you notice about just switching out the word anxious with excited? I am going to go out on a limb here and guess you felt a higher vibration with the word excited, if you want to know what I mean do the exercise again.
So, here we are in a place of transition or suspension waiting for the next move, job, relationship, whatever it is and we have all the feels. We have an inner dialogue that's hitting us a mile a minute and at times we might feel we are spinning out of control. This is where I cannot encourage you enough to slow it down and take some deep breaths. This is also a great place to look at your thoughts like you are observing your favorite football game or reality show. What words are you telling yourself? and how can you change them in a way that doesn't pull you under but lift you up? Like instead of saying im stressed out could you perhaps say " my attention is focused on many things at the moment". I know one is much shorter to say but do short cuts in life really add benefit or value? My point is slowing it down to help you come back to a place that feels good for you, we all just want to feel good !! Sometimes its easy to get wrapped up in our thoughts that we completely check out of reality, and that's where a lot of dis ease comes in.
I am currently once again transitioning between two worlds, almost three haha. I have a baby on the way, I have a house in Durango Colorado that's begging for my textiles which are hanging on my house in Seattle that needs to be packed up and then moved half way across country in a week. It feels like im neither here nor there, but that's okay because I am exactly where I need to be. I have put my intention into actually enjoying the in between no matter how hard somedays seem or how my attention is pulled into many different tasks so how do I begin one? There is a lot to love about the in between if only we slow it down, change the language a bit and practice gratitude for being right where we are... after all it is where the magic happens.
In Lifted Body,
As my Birthday was approaching this year I new I wanted to celebrate a little differently then I have in the past. Now, if you know me personally you know I am a true Leo and my birthday is a big deal! My past birthdays have been blowouts, horsback parties, surprise parties, many of my birthdays have been spent in exotic far off places,and all of them have involved me telling everyone I meet that day "Hey its my birthday celebrate me" playing the proud Lioness to a T.
Coming into my 35th trip around the moon and having gone through 22 weeks of pregnancy so far , my whole outlook on what my birthday meant to me shifted. I have spent 34 years celebrating me, as I rightly due of course, it is a miracle to be alive and well. Now that my role has shifted from just me to, there is another human inside me right now (so weird, cool amazing) , it somehow didn't feel right to celebrate me soley on my day or flash it around like I had done anything big on my actual birthday in 82.
What came keenly to my attention was what went down on August 3rd , 1982, my mother gave birth to me! At 4:28 am I came into this world with the cord wrapped twice around my throat and the caul or veil covering my face, I was blue as could be. My mother labored through the night au natural at her midwifes, to bring me into this world and here I am 35 years later about to birth my own baby.
Birthday , Day of Birth, the day our mothers labored, breathed deeply, maybe screamed, and if they had a natural birth felt pain to bring us here, they endured crazy bodily changes and sacrificed their bodies to create us for 9 months. I truly believe we have it backwards, we need to be honoring our mothers on our birthdays, after all if it wasnt for their undying love and sacrifice we would not be here.
I am so truly grateful and blessed to be here in this world, learning what its all about to have a grand human experience. I am alive and well because of the beautiful strong and powerful Cynthia Foster who let me occupy her body and who pushed me out into the world. I am honored to be going through the birth process myself, it is truly the most amazing experience I have ever had so far! I feel like I stepped into some sort of powerful womanhood I had no idea existed until now. Some day in early December I will give a new human a birthday and that is just the coolest thing and the most precious gift I could ever ask for.
I spent yesterday just as I wanted in quiet reflection, loving my body, calming my mind, and filling my spirit with gratitude for this miraculous journey we go on when we choose to step into motherhood and create life.
In conclusion remeber on your birthday how you got here and who it was who sacrificed out of love to bring you here. This my 35th year I dedicate to you Mother and I dedicate it to the babe I carry who his making me a Mother.
Even as I re read the title of my Blog Post I can't help but chuckle to myself. You see the last blog post I wrote was well over a year ago and hear I am writing about consistency, you see the irony in that right? Oh well , no time like the present to take your own advice:)
The spawn of this topic hit me in the stomach (or was that the baby kicking) yesterday as I was watching Soul Surfer, the movie based off pro surfer Bethany Hamiltons shark attack. I mean I'm crying, more like sobbing watching this girls story. The tears were for her undying dedication to her dream, not the loss of her arm. Everyday, she showed up for herself, pushing herself into the waves, waking at the crack of dawn because she was filled with a passion most of us never feel, let alone, let drive us. Sitting there watching this I started feeling sorry for myself , going into the story of " if only I had stayed on the beach i could be a pro surfer by now" " Im not great at anything" "I cant even put my mind to one thing like bettering my buisness " etc...you know the self depricating talk can go on forever, but I was able to yank myself out of it, hop on my paddleboard and shake the negative drowing that was about to happen.
I was sitting on my board in deep reflection of what it would take for me to feel satisfied with the direction my life was going in that moment...Consistency in actions everyday, was the answer that came back to me from the vast open water I was facing. I also asked myself where I felt I was consistent in my life and I was deeply aware that it was in the way I teach Pilates. When I teach I show up for my clients everyday with the same intention and the same mindset. I have learned to leave my "shit" at the door and be fully present with my clients because guess what? most of them have brought their shit with them and if I have my shit and they have theirs well that's a fucking mess. When you are dealing with others people's shit or emotional baggage... same same,.it can become exhausting which is why my consistency in not being a coddeler is what in my opinion makes the biggest change in people's lives.
Thinking about this as the waves gently roll under me I ponder what other areas a consistent action practice can serve me? So many ideas started rolling in... write your blog more, share more authentic stories with the world, make videos to start a series, move your body with intention everyday, mediatate, food prep, tell the people you love that you love them, etc... Okay, yes I want all those things to be constants in my life and I know what I want and I know what my great dream is so what the hell...and then I realized the less consistent I am in the way I want to be ,the more I allow for fear to develop in that space and the more the fear, the less consistency. Why does it work that way? Simple really, consistency provides security and a sense of certainty, and that speaks to some basic human needs.
Why do we stay in a job we dont like...you are certain you are getting that pay check in two weeks...therefore you feel secure...becuase there is a consistent action every two weeks....
Why do you follow certain instagramers or blog posters ...you are certain you can go to their page and find something new they have shared...that provides you with a sense of security that your okay or the recipe will work...because they are consistent in showing up to their public.
By now I am sure you see where I am going here and if your feeling more confused then ever shoot me a message I will be happy to clarify:)
The point is, like the soul surfer, if you want to be pro surfer one day you have take consistent actions EVERY DAMN DAY to make that your reality. If you want to have the most incredible romance you have ever had show up for your lady or lad EVERY DAMN DAY, if you want to be a great chef ...well you know what you have to do. I realized something sitting out on my board yesterday. I know I have something important to say. I know I have a great story to share and I know I can make an impact on peoples lives. I also know I havent fully showed up naked and unafraid because sometimes my sharing might shed some light on some things I've kept in the dark. I have been scared about what the world might think or if peple even care what I have to say , but you know what else I realized while in the water...I dont give a Fuck! I mean that in the most tenderness of ways, but I dont. I dont care if people find my message useful or helpful because thats not why Im here. If a millon people view my blog (yeah im on the ellen show for sure!!) but only one reaches out and tells me I had an impact on her/his life, I consider myself to be a success.
Im sharing because this is my passion, this is what excites me, because I know and I believe I have something important to say, its not the people's belief that drives me , its my belief in what I know I can achieve if I can show up with consistency in action for myself EVERY DAMN DAY!