The indian culture has this saying that I quite llike..."What am I to do?" its a retorical question of course and not meant to be answered. To me its meaning extends the offer of letting go of that which is not in your control, how beautiful. I first really paid this statement much mind this morning as my driver was taking me to the studio. I had shared with him some of my adventures from the previous days so he was now sharing with me. He shared that he was trying to sell his motorcycle and that he had some friends cheat him at which point he stated "what am i to do?". As I sat there mulling this over answering the question in my head a hundred times over with things like "umm you get it back" "you ask them why they cheated you and ask them to make it right" "you stand up for yourself" I realized he was at peace with whatever came out of that situation and therefore free from the pain of holding on to being a victim of his friends wily ways, again how beautiful.
I continued to sit there thinking of how many times I cried in the past couple of days because things weren't working out for me the way I hoped....trying to find peace in a garden only to be followed by men in return feeling scared instead of peace, being driven around in circles by a tuk-tuk so he could get paid more, not finding a ride home at dusk without being asked to pay crazy rates, and crying in the streets because of how helpless I felt. In all fairness to myself I was tired, hungry, and feeling quite alone under the circumstances it makes for a recipe of tears. I couldnt help but think in the back of the car what if I had just said to myself "what am I to do?". Something happens to your energy after you say those five words, the vibration they leave resonating your body is freeing, its not like you give up, its simply you freeing yourself, letting go, trying another way.